This was later on… towards the end of October. Dave Desmond and Steve Rice came and visited complete with a guitar. Mind you, this was still in intensive care unit and they are none too keen to loud noises. Anyone that knows Dave and Steve know that alone they are hilarious, but together the same room it can be lethal. Add in the copious amounts of narcotics I was taking and still experiencing the aftereffects of my head injury… and what could be expected to result is nothing short of what you might hear at Animal House.
Those of you who know these characters… enjoy. The others, listen to what you want and feel free to shut off at any moment.
The transcript:
(Steve Rice talking to me in the background)
Steve: We made a tape of me and Kevin, and we played Thursday at lunch… and we made a tape for you(?)
Me: What was it?
Mom: 7, 8, 9, 10
Steve: It was…
Dave Desmond: They played as a band it was so funny.
Steve: It was like (?)
Me: Yeah?
Steve: It was really…the songs were really bad..but they we so bad, they were funny.
Me: hi tape recorder, how are you doing?
Dave: Doing fine, thanks!
Mom: tell the date anyway, while you’re on there, guys.
Steve: Ok..its October 23
Me (simultaneously):October..twenty..third
Steve: and it’s…
Me: 1988
Steve: am I pressing enough?
Me: Four O clock yes you are, Steve.
Steve: Thank you…Oh you’re going to take pictures.
Dave: picture time!
Steve: O.k.
Me: Steve.
Steve; Let me get a picture here.
Mom: O.k. can you bend your head down a little?
Dave: Booda boo! Booda boda boo.
Mom: eh.I can’t get the camera to work.I don’t understand.
(everyone talks at once)
Dad: go outside and see…
Me: My name…is…Larry
(Steve and Dave sing next line of “My name is Larry”)
Me: Steve…do you..want to..know what..my brother’s real name is? And my Mom, and my Dad’s?
Steve: Sure…I know your mom’s. I always forget you dad’s
Mom: joyce
Me: Sandy..Sandy
Steve: Oh yeah I can remember that
Me: david.
Dad: David’s your brother’s name.
Me: Davids my brother, Teri’s my sister
Steve: yeah
Dad: And Vivian’s your
Me: grandma..and jack is my grandpa
Mom: and you knew grandpa joe.
Steve: mm hmmm
Me: and Sallys my other grandma…who had alzheimer’s disease…don’t you know?
(QUIET)
Steve: Which one do you want to play first, Dave?
15:26
Dave: Uh, let’s see here…
(Dad says they should lay in the ward and mom says “They can’t hear the guitar. It’s a steel string” while I mumble something)
Me: Mom…they’re so cool…Steve’s the coolest.
Dave: Steve IS the coolest…except for me.
Steve: We kind of wrote this song, but we stole it from Van Morrison..Dave’s an (inaudible) from me.
Me: “Oh it’s a beautiful night for a moondance…”
(Dave scats “Moondance”)
Me: That’s van Morrison.
Dave: You know it. …This is a different one.
(They play “Larry”…to tune of “Gloria”)
(in the middle of the song, I ask my dad to itch my nose)
Me; Mom……you know..what song..this is a take-off of? Mom…mom....mom…
(they are futzing with something)
Dave: hold on a second, she’s looking for someting.
Dad: What’s the matter?
Mom: the nurse looked out there
Me; mom, you know what song that was? “Gloria” by van Morrison
(mom whispers in the background about the nurse)
Dad: She said what?
Mom: Nothing..we’re o.k.
Me: Mom…itch my nose please
Dad: Why don’t you just go outside and see how loud it is.
Mom: No..they can’t even hear. That new nurse is out there.
(changing the subject) So..what have you guys been up to?
Dad: let’s hear “Larry” I want to hear “My name is Larry”
Me: Talk to me Dave
Dave: Well…what do you want to hear Lar?
Me: What?
Dave what do you want to hear? Hey…I played my second rugby match yesterday
Me: Rugby? KUCI Rugby?
Dave: No…KUCI doesn’t have a team, I’m playing for UC Irvine.
Steve: He’s getting demolished.
Dave: For the school, yeah..
Mom; You like it?
Dave: It’s pretty fun…there are a lot of big boys out there.
Me: Mom..itch my nose…please.
Mom: he’s going to be on the record for “itch my nose, itch my nose’
Dave: I know
Mom: Hey…I got an itchy nose.
(Steve starts playing KUCI theme song with “itch my nose” lyrics)
Me: Steve…that’s the theme song for KUCI
Mom: Don’t play that til the nurse is gone.
Steve: That’s the…
Dave: “The Broken Radio Blues”..we’ll play that later..when the nurse leaves
Mom: Do you wnt to stop the recorder or do you want this all recorded?
Me: Yes..stop the recorder.
19:32
(Nurse taking vitals and “My name Is Larry” in background, talking about my sister Teri’s job)
Mom: You guys want some jellybeans, help yourself.
Dave: OH! How could I forget! Larry..look at my teeth. No braces, man.
Me: You got a retainer, Dave. That’s so cool.
Dave: isn’t that nifty?
Mom; how many years?
Dave: 3 years I had them on.
(mumbling)
Dave: This is the first time you’ve seen my new teeth, and aren’t they magnificent?
Me: Mom..itch my right neck, please.
(Dave taking it on)
Mom: The right side of his neck is where you would think is left.
Me: It is right..the other right.
Mom: left.
Steve: Your right.
Mom: Its my right when I look at you, but it’s your left when you’re laying there. You’re right.
(everyone laughs)
(cross chatter)
Me: Steve-O..what’s up, bro?
(talking about hair and cutting Eric Nusbaum’s hair)
Mom: I cut Eric’s…the night he stayed here with me.
Steve: Did he know you were cutting it?
Mom: No..he asked me to.
Steve; That’s funny
Me: Steve..shoot..turn the tape recorder on.
Steve & Dave: Oh it’s on.
Steve: What song do you want to hear.
Dave: Do you want to move it closer to you, Lardog?
Me: No dave, I can’t hear it. It’s recording.
Dave: No..I meant…well fine, just make me feel like a fool, Larry…you goober.
Mom: he hasn’t lost his sense of humour, has he?
Dave: No..he can still riff on me
Steve: We all do that.
Dave: yea
Me: Right curly! Curly!
Dave: hey..hey..hey.I don’t need your abuse
Steve; Sure you do, it makes us better people, doesn’t it?
Dave; It sure does. We’re gonna have the weird recording
Me: Stereo mix
Dave: The 12” remix
Steve; It’ll be like “Whole Lotta Love” from Led Zeppelin
Mom: He wants to hear the song “Larry”
Steve; O.k., we’ll make them up..
(They sing “My Name Is Larry”)
Me: Steve, Play the guitar, dammit! Excuse my language.
Steve: There’s no guitar in “My name is Larry”
Mom: back to that stuff again, Lar?
Steve; Oh yeah…
Me; Did you hear about that, Steve?
Steve; Yeah…show us the picture.
Mom; Show us your drug overdose face
Me: Did you hear about my cuss-fest Steve?
Dave & Steve: Yeah
Me: itch my nose
Dave; “Cuss fest”…that’s funny
Mom: he told me to go ‘f” myself
Me: Isn’t that smart of me? “Mom…go biip yourself.
(Steve starts strumming and I sing “Larry” to the tune of “Lola”)
Dave: Oh do you know “Lola” By the Kinks?
Me: I do
Steve: How does it go? I can figure it out
Dave: (after singing) We’re too raucous for this hospital.
Me: (like I know what I’m doing) steve..D, D, D, D, D minor
Steve: D minor?
(Mom & dad go out)
Mom: We’re gonna leave you guys alone with Larry
Dad: Don’t go away
Me; bye dad
Mom: have a good time guys.
Dave: o.k.
Steve: It goes G, D…
Me: D, D minor,
Dave: Is your nose itchy again
Me: yeah
Dave: just the bottom?
Me: yes
Dave: like that? That good? I’ve been working on it. You know that big tall funny guy? I’m living with him again.
(a bunch of banter between us)
Me: Steve…who do you live with?
Steve: I’m with my mom and dad
Me: momadpop fraternity. Remember that “Happy Days?”..”momandpop fraternity” that was Ron Howard.
Steve: That’s who AJ looks like..Ron Howard. Looks like Richie..20 years later
Dave; Opie..the extended version
(more banter)
larry; Do you know D’yer Mak’r
I know Stairway To Heaven
Dave: I l know the start of it. Shall I do it show my musical prowess?
Me: Show it, Dave
Dave: give it to me Stevie.
(hands Dave guitar)
Dave: I don’t need a pick.
Steve:Hear that he doesn’t need a pick.
Me: Go Diamond Dave!
(dave plays first few notes)
Dave: that’s all I know
Me: That’s not right,
Dave: Isnt that right?
Steve: na ah.
(more futzing)
Steve: It is, but it’s in the wrong key
Dave: let’s see if you can name this other tune…the only other one I know.
(Dave starts picking U2 song)
me: New Years Day!
Dave: Sunday Bloody Sunday
(all start singing)
(I stat singing my own words and everyone starts laughing)
Me: Stop it…Ill laugh so hard, my sides will ache, my heart will go pitter pat
(Start singing “Felix, the wonderful cat”)
(The we start sing “Gilligan’s Island”..and then play “Name that tune”)
(a bunch of banter that probably only is interesting to those present or those who knew those present at 42 minutes there’s a funny interaction between us about itching and at some point they play The Broken Radio Blues)
No comments:
Post a Comment