Mom & Dad's first recording

Mom & Dad try and figure out how to record while physical therapist moves around..and I go on cursing rampage

Me: Dad…you let mom shut it off!
Dad: I’ll take it away from her
Mom What’s this red light say? Right here.
Me: Record
(a therapist comes in)
Therapist: Heyyyyyyyy!!!!
Me: Hey.
Therapist: Hey.
Me: I’m recording…did you know that? I’m recording!
(Mom & Dad trying to figure out recorder)
Me: I’m recording too! I’m recording on one side too!
Me: Yes..fuck. My mom’s fucking things up.
Therapist: (laughing) Does she always do that?
Me: Damnit!....Damnit!
Me: What are you recording.
Therapist: What am I recording?
Me: Yes
Therapist: I’m going to record your voice.
Me: What are you recording??!! What are you doing now?!??
Therapist: (beginning to range me) I’m raising your arm up over your head.
Me: WHAT ARE YOU DOING NOW??!!??
Therapist: I’m raising your arm up..is that alright?
Me: OK..you’re recording my voice! Ow! Shit! Ow..god damn it! God damn it! Ow!
(Mom & Dad in background still wondering if recorder is working)
Mom: I think we need a microphone.
Therapist: Oh….I bet so.
Mom: I think it has one at home.
Me: Ow..god damn it!
Therapist: You probably want to record it when I’m not here.
Dad: Well let’s find out.
Mom: let’s see if it’s working. Stop it.
(Tape restarted)
Therapist What’s my name, it’s a name that starts with a “J”.
Me: J.
Therapist: My name starts with a “J”
Me: Hmmm…Joyce.
Therapist: No
Me: Joy
Therapist: Jannnnn….
Me: Janet
Therapist: Close…Janice
Me: Hi Janice.
(pause for about 20 seconds)

Me: Hello,??
Dad: Hello. Who is this?
Me: guess who's on the phone Dad???
Dad: Who is it?
Me: Damnit Hi!
Dad: Who is it?
Me: Hello
Me: Damnit Hi!
Dad: Hi? I don’t know.
Me: Guess who it is.
Dad: Who is it?
Therapist: Trade sides.
Dad: Can I trade sides, Lar?
Me: it's Kelley Sewell, Dad
Dad: O.K.